Independently Wealthy

It felt to be out out of the heat. I had time to spend my days in bed, and my nights making retroactive choices like drinking, and spending what little money I had left in the bank. I had just gotten fired from my job, and the threat of financial devistaion, and expontially growing debt had not quite hit home yet in my head. I kept telling my self that I would take care of it, and that worrying would only make it worse on me. I was going through some hard times that were to be expected after one's unexpected firing.
I was grasping for any form of positive thought I could pull out of thin air. My sleep schedule had reversed it self, and the depression was well on its way. I new it, but like every other problem that had weasled it way in to my aimless life, I was assuring my self that sooner or later, ambition would find me, and I would be back on track again as if the train had never de-railed.
The first few weeks I look at as a deserved break. I had put in hard time, battling the elements for the past eight months doing manual labor, so it wasn't exactly hard to get used to having no daily obligations, and no where to be. I made it a point to wake up before 11:30 everday, so with my sleep schedule still slightly regulated, I was still confident that I would break the chains of Unemployment.
And so as it went, I began drinking more, staying up later, and and sleeping later into the day. before I knew it, I was waking up at 2:00pm, closing the blinds, and cursing at my self for conciously letting my life deteriorate into borderline alcoholsim, and waking up while the rest of the world was coming home from work. I had a roomate that used to live that way, and I know now that his life must have been sheer hell.
It has been exactly six months to the day that I was fired, and if you would have told me then that I would have willing prolonged these agonizing days of resentment and depression, I would have called you a liar without hesitation. I have wasted a half year of my life, and at almost twenty two years old, I am running out of time on this earth.
Tomorrow ill find a job.

10/17/07 2:21am