Nothing is Permanent , I Promise

"...and I remember all the young girls.
those poor god damned girls.
dumb enough to believe in me,
and my sob stories.
I would reel em' in and suffocate them
into submission within a matter of days.

Don't get me wrong;
long after me
they did eventually find their dreams.
The endless sunflower fields
and placid, life-long romance under the sun.
God and true love and safety
would one day wisk them away,
and the memory of me would be buried
in the back yard with the pets.
But for a short while they let me
hold them under water,
and feed them blood.
I would prove to be their,
'learning experience',
or
'biggest regret';
a lowly stepping stone between
the innocent and the condemned.
My face was to be forgotten.
Just a dark figure slumped over
in a holding cell.

And after they finally gave up,
they would vow to the stars
to never let it happen
to them again,
and I'm sure they didn't.

I was good at it man, I'm tellin' you.
After a while I'd slip up though.

I would get comfortable and let her sneak in.
We'd be wasting the day's hours
in bed, trying to forget the world together.
I'd play with her hair, and whisper lies
into her ear over the hum of the air-conditioner.
I even went as far as to tell a couple of them
that I loved them. . .
and I don't know, maybe I did.
Or maybe it was the guilt of a leeching
con artist forcing me to say it. . .
She would lean into me,
smell my insides,
and hate herself
for staying.
I would try with what little strength I had
to force the girls
back into my hole.
But like always, night will give way
to dawn and the ghost will be put to rest
in the closet.

I can't imagine how they did it.
I don't want to.
My hands worked viciously
over pressure points in those days,
I was a real son of a bitch.
I don't regret much of it.
They we all cowards.
all of them.
But then again;
I was too."