Sugar Moms

She called me just to tell me she'd snorted some pills.
Fuck.
"Just be safe with whatever it is you do." I said.
My brain had been set on fire.
After a week of not eating
and receiving absolutely nothing but bad news
from what seemed like everyone I knew,
I was feeling the starved jaws of a Nervous Breakdown
seep deep into my spine.
She was drunk out of her mind
in some guys apartment and I was stone sober,
walking all alone through the city trying
with such a depleted strength to keep it together.
I wont write them down,
but I had some truly evil thoughts
pounding on the inside of my skull.
Who can I call?
Where can I go? I thought
All of my friends had packed up and moved south for the winter.
Fuck it all.
I stepped into a bar,
that same bar that so many of these sad stories come from.
I took a piss and tried to decipher
the raunchy codes and sad farewells
in the countless inscriptions in the wall above the toilet.
"I can't wait to get new tits."
Storm of leeches.
The bullshit flows.
Some young, well dressed kid saw it necessary
to give me shit as I zipped up and opened the narrow bathroom door.
"hey you ain't gonna wash your hands?"
He barked as I left the bathroom.
I kicked in the door and saw him step back
and cower his eyes away from mine.
Spastic visions of ripping him apart
and eating his flesh
flashed like lightening in my war-torn mind.
"Is there a problem?... The fuck?... You got a problem with germs or something?"
Foaming at the mouth like a rabid hound.
"Yea." the terrified white kid replied.
"O yea? Well fuck you." I yelled before spitting in his face
and slamming the door behind myself.
Not today motherfucker.
Not now.